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Wednesday 1 February 2012

Why Muffins Are Evil

Greetings earthlings,

     This was suggested by Emma, and so I'm going to do a post about why I hate muffins and why they are evil and such.

1. Are they a breakfast? Or are they a dessert? I mean let's be honest, Muffins look healthy, they're like "Look! I have blueberries and nuts and stuff in me and I'm delicious so EAT ME FOR BREAKFAST!" But they're lying, because muffins are just cupcake posers, and I don't care how many freaking blueberries you stuff into that thing it's still a CAKE. An EVIL cake that makes you FAT!

2. GLUTEN! Yes people, Gluten is evil, it makes me sad and my stomach cries when I eat it. Muffins want to force themselves into my mouth and anger me to a point of no return and then I get sick because I can't it gluten and it's all the MUFFIN's FAULT!

3. (This is frightening, hide your children) Muffins want to start a REBELLION! Every time you eat a muffins, it lives on in your digestive system and once you eat more muffins they reproduce inside of you starting a MUFFIN ARMY! When you find yourself getting obese, it's not actually fat you feel, it's the muffins colonies expanding. That's right people, this is a serious issue. When you hear of people dying of a 'heart attack" that's actually the muffins they've eaten using your heart for NOURISHMENT!

BEWARE THE EVIL!!


DFTBA
Olivia :D


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